Unsure

To tell the truth
I am unsure as to whether any god exists
I’m not sure I want to
The wars spawned by religion caused more destruction
Than I care to be associated with
No definite black or white just grey
The views some try to push on me
Have put me in a perpetual state of indifference
The hate caused by your so called saviors
Has driven me away
Whether you are reborn, or you live
Forever in the golden light or fiery pits
Is your choice
Even though we really don’t know what will happen
In the hereafter of your choice
My views don’t matter to you
Yours don’t matter to me
Just remember no one really knows what is going to happen
When you find out you can’t tell me
I’ll be off in my little world of indecision

Peaceful

You think you know me
You think you solved the mystery of me
You see through the acts that I hide behind
I hate to disprove your theory
You see the outer walls that are the labyrinth of me.
Hidden in dark the dark recesses of my mind do I lurk just waiting to emerge
But as each day passes I grow weary of hiding
Just wanting to be myself but unable to
Held back by the shackles called expectations
I act as if I were a fallen being
But all I am is a speck of dust in the wind
Not destined for greatness
Not destined for fame or wealth
I don’t desire these materialistic things
All I want peace
Not world peace
Not peace of mind
Just peace
So leave me to search for this fabled peace

In The Dark

I keep you in the dark
You think you know every detail of me
I hide my true feelings in the dark corner of my mind
Along with the bad memories of the years gone by
They sit there just waiting to be released as if they were a caged bird
Always coming just beneath the surface as if to say let me free
But my fear and paranoia keep them tightly locked away
Never to be released
Never to be heard or seen
I just sit here in wait for the caged bird to escape
When that day finally comes all will be revealed
No secrets
No lies
No more dark corners to hide in

Hidden

Hidden from view in broad daylight
I sit here unnoticed for the most part
The teacher occasionally calls out for an answer
My voice heard then forgotten instantly
I like being hidden from you
All you do is mock me out of fear
Each insult slowly cuts deeper
I seem unaffected yet I am scarred beyond recognition
Deep within my psyche I have some small fragment of pride left
I hold onto it for dear life
You all try to steal it as if it were some precious jewel
I despise every one of you who acts as if you are just joking
The lies and truths indistinguishable from one another in my eyes
Your preconceived judgments clouding your vision
But making mine all the clearer
I see you for who you truly are
An insecure fool who knows no other way express fear by mockery

Endings

Whether they be good or bad
By fate or free or free will
They will occur in an ironic never ending cycle
As difficult to deal with as death or as easy as the end of a movie
We all move on until we too end.
Our fall will not shake the earth for in the scheme of things we are all insignificant
We all are soon to be forgotten
Except for the select few who we truly touched
Even they with time shall fade and with them we fall too
The great end of us all is approaching and with it all knowledge of us is as good as gone.
I am as prepared as I will be for the end
So all I can say is…..
Farewell to all of you.

Anger

Repressed my inner demons have grown strong
Their shackles are weakening
I fear they will soon escape
I fear not for myself but for the fool who unleashes them
I will lose myself in their fury
I shall feel no pain till I reawaken
Amongst the devastated I realize I have become a slave to my anger
An anger which no one can master
Yet I am expected to bear its burden
My pain hidden beneath this false smile
The laughter keeps me from screaming
My peers go along mocking me
Unbeknownst to them I am subconsciously plotting
The things I think should have never occurred to one as young as me
My demise is not near but I feel as though the next day will be the end
But that mystic end will not be brought on by myself
But by the fabled reaper

Alone

I am surrounded by many
Still I am alone
Nobody to call a friend
No shoulder to lean on in times of pain
No one to protect or to be protected by
Mocked by those who call themselves my friends
Days of ceaseless pain
Nights of growing loneliness
I grow stronger with each passing day
Knowing I could end the pain in a second
But I know that ending it would prove how weak I was
Pain is temporary
Death is permanent
Life alone is better than death regretful
Live not a life of regret but a life of foolish pride

Hang on to those you consider dear and never let go

Ages

I have grown as the seasons changed
I have realized change is good and necessary
Yet it is the hardest thing to do.
I grew in mind and body yet I changed not in temperament
I thought I was same as the years before changing only when it is convenient for me
But I have realized I do change as the seasons do
The spring my youth when I look back I see happiness and Naievete

The times my parents miss because I was fun to be around.
The summer my era growth the year when the shroud of ignorance was raised a little
I grew to know things beyond the comprehension of my younger peers
I felt superior yet I knew I was missing something
The autumn my golden age I was the popular protector my ignorance had seemed to vanish but then again ignorance is bliss I knew not how ignorant I was
As I grew to realize the leaves had already fallen and the winter was nearly upon us
The winter my time of freedom granted by my elders but that freedom was not so free as I thought I realized this and I have become this being that stands before you just waiting for the spring to come again
I feel as though I have left behind the other seasons but I still carry them with me
No matter how much I seem to despise them they will always be there
I will feel my past no matter how repressed it may be I still feel it
Lurking just beyond my sight just waiting for me to accept it with open arms