Thursday, July 23, 2009
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Be somebody.
Quit cloning around
Walking these halls I see the same face on all of you
Confining yourself to your social cliques.
What happened to our childhood dreams of individuality.
Why do we feel the need to belong.
Stand up
Speak out.
Don't let these clones close in on you
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Catalyst.
All it takes is one spark.
To start an inferno
Just like a revolution
One person no matter how insignificant they may seem
Can bring about a worldly change
All it takes is a little time and effort
You can set the world ablaze with your ideas
Bust down those fucking walls of conformity
And start a fire of your own.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Gone far too long
Silly world
Fucked up and desecrated
This world has nothing left to give
We reaped but we did not sow
We have taken but we refuse to give back
Our mother is dying
And I can’t take it anymore
Clean the waters
Revitalize the forests
Purify this land we call home
Don’t look outside for help
Our fate lies on this turf
Give back what we have taken and hope it’s not too fucking late
Sunday, April 23, 2006
It sucks but it s better than nothing
Bass
A constant thunder in my ears
Blowing my mind
And rattling my brain
As I destroy the Technicolor baddies
Covering the screen in crimson
And draining away my humanity
Desensitizing myself
Convincing myself the enemy deserves death
Showing now mercy I blow them away
Losing my mind as the body count soars
After awhile the bass fades out and I wake up
In the real world bound by the rules of our society
I see the screen and I am ashamed
Realizing what has become of me
I cut the power and stand
Not as myself but
As another desensitized child…
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Russian Roulette
I load the bullet..
A single cartridge..
So small..
Seemingly weak..
Yet its power enough to take down a giant..
Breaking bone and tearing flesh..
I close my eyes and spin the cylinder..
The barrel to my temple..
My finger on the trigger..
The last thing i hear..
Click..
Click..
Boom..
Again this is the most disturbing and dark you will ever see from me again. I found the courage to seek help at this point in my life and i will have the courage to seek it again should i ever become this self loathing again. I refuse to go back into that pit. I finnaly got the hell out of there i still have a "fuck the world, and fuck you too" attitude at times but i will never ever go out that way. If you have any concerns for me dont worry ive been reborn.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Whispers to those long gone
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
My Fallen Angel
My Imperfect Goddess
My Fallen Angel
My Dark Queen
For a wretched soul such as me,
There could be no one more perfect.
All of her impurity insignificant
the only thing that matters is our love
This unbreakable bond
Held fast by our devotion
Bound by our trust
Supported by kindness
Together for eternity
Falling in each others arms
Our imperfection shorn
Our divinity shines through
The dark queen
The wicked king
Perfect Loves
With imperfect souls
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Sunday, November 20, 2005
My first short story
In the land of Rathus, a land of unparalleled beauty, untouched by time and technology, a land that could almost be confused with heaven, Two great kings existed, Lord Orso Dorato The golden knight, a giant with unparalleled strength and skill , the possessor of the sacred armor of Heimdall, and the blade of Hodur. And Lord Magnus Fellblood, A fiend incarnate, Lord of all things corrupt and dark, Harbinger of death and destruction, Owner of Fenris’ Armor, and the blade of Magni.
On the most sacred of days Einherjar, Lord Orsos’ wife to be Elizabeth Brittania Eaton has fallen ill, Lord Orso remains by her side through her troubled sleep she wakes with a start exclaiming “Milord!” This rouses the sleeping Orso from his unintentional slumber “ARM THE SENTRYS!!” he exclaims still within his dream when he realizes he is awake he blushes sheepishly. “Erm…What is it Elizabeth?” he asks still slightly groggy. “Milord….I fear we shall soon be attacked by Magnus Fellblood….”. “ I told you not to call me Mi…. WHAT!?!” he exclaims “How do you know this?” “A vision Mi...Orso”
At the same time a similar event has occurred. Adrianna Fellblood is seen struggling to the throne room of her husband gasping for breath falling to her knees at his feet. “Magnus!” she gasps. “ What is it you forsaken wench?” he hisses at her. “Magnus I believe it is finally time to make our final stand against Orso and my wretched half sister.” Magnus laughs evilly. “How do you know this wench?”
“A vision Magnus…A vision…”
Orso can be seen still by Elizabeth’s side Calm as ever as soon as Elizabeth is back asleep he leaves the room and calls for a meeting of his most loyal and brave knights. “My brothers in arms and spirit, I fear a great battle is approaching.”
His most loyal knight Kolbrandr asks “ with who milord only one foe remains and surely he would not consider attacking after his last defeat”
“I fear it is so Kolbrandr, I also fear his forces will be twice the size and strength of last time.”
“Surely he cannot have raised such a force in so little time”
“Your queen to be has foreseen this...”
“She could be wrong sire.”
“Has she ever been wrong before?”
“No.”
And with that the other knights erupt in a din of fear and confusion causing Orso to lose his temper and silence them all by hewing the table in half with his great runed sword silencing them immediately and causing a few to disgrace themselves. “Gather all the troops and arm them with the best of the equipment we leave in a fortnight.” With that he storms out back to his future queen’s room.
Magnus can be seen conjuring the foulest and darkest demons laughing evilly he seems to be enjoying himself thoroughly calling out to Adrianna to fetch his armor and blade and receiving a long string of insults back to him as she comes to him carrying his armor and blade in a sack tossing it at his feet and cursing him as she leaves spitting at him before walking to her chamber.
Half a fortnight has passed and Orso has become restless and agitated training for hours on end threatening any who disturb him with death except for his now wife and queen. He reviews the troops daily thanking them for their loyalty and readiness so quickly. He tells them to spend the final weeks with their families and friends.
Finally the day has come when Orso and Magnus deploy their troops. Only to meet two days later on the battle field. Orso troops stand in reserved silence headed by the giant at least three heads taller than any other his golden armor shining in the fading sun as the dark king approaches with his loud loutish army following close behind ordering to attack mercilessly without honor to kill all they see.
Orso gives his signal to attack drawing his giant sword which gleams with a holy light in the coming darkness only to elicit a louder war cry from the fell beasts across the field. The dark lord draws his sword as well seeming to breed hatred with a mere glance at it. The armies collide in a bloody savage battle drenching the earth in the blood of human and hellion alike Until both forces retreat exhausted leaving a precious few on the battlefield, Consisting of Orso, Kolbrandr, Magnus and his most loyal henchman Agnarr locked in battle. Blow for blow Orso and Magnus continue for torturous hours on end blood flowing from their wounds neither seeming to weaken until Orso lands a stroke to Magnus’ chest cleaving his armor and giving him a mortal wound bringing a cry of utter terror from Agnarr as he sees the new fire in Kolbrandrs’ eyes now knowing he can win as did his lord. Kolbrandr cleaves Agnarrs helm with a mighty swing bringing the battle to a joyous end. Leaving Orso to walk away in a moment of silence for his fallen brethren.
Feel free to tell me what you think good or bad i really dont mind. I would appreciate it if tell me of any mistakes so i can fix it asap.
Insomnia
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Good and bad news
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Nobody
Monday, October 17, 2005
Crazier And Hazier 2
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Untitled (( this poem will never have a real title i cant just seem to create one))
Crazier and Hazier
Life is getting crazier and hazier. We've got people sitting in their so-called havens talking to ravens obsessing over death while taking their last breath. Tormentors Flocking constantly mocking. The whole hearted fighting the cold hearted wishing there was no war. Darkness flowing over the plains followed by the acid rains. Hollywoods' fame going down in flames as shockwaves rock the worlds docks. Perpetual darkness bringing gloom and doom to the people whose fear rises causing them to despise one another. Eyes peer from the shadows slowly devouring their mind making them search when there is nothing to find. With kindness eliminated nothing left to feel but fear and hatred.
Theres a Poe reference in the second line for those of you who dont notice. to this day he is still my greatest teacher in the world of writing right next to the Infamous Bagby-san my favorite english teacher in my life. Theres another poem just like this which i will post next
On Writing
Friday, October 07, 2005
Anger pt.2
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Fallen
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Forgotten
I look at these dingy walls
Wondering...
Have I been forgotten?
By loved ones...
By family...
By friends...
I look out these grimy windows
I see their blissful smiles
Heartbroken
I cry out
Desperately wanting to be heard
By my loved ones...
By my family...
By my friends...
I pound on the glass
Claw at the door
I fall down defeated and exhausted
Wondering..
What will i do if i have been forgotten
Institution
Here I sit
In this institution
Sentenced here by law
Waiting and waiting for this day to end
And the next to begin
My true self held back by these impregnable walls
Until the miraculous toll of the bell when my freedom is secure
Walking through those doors I mutter
“Thank god it’s finally summer I hate school”
Friday, September 16, 2005
My first love
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Demons
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Life, Death And Immortality
All of them have a different meaning for each being
Life and immortality a curse for the ones who wish for death
Death a curse for those who fear it
Immortality a blessing until you see its flaws
Old age is a blessing yet a curse
You can pass on your wisdom to the new generation
You also slowly feel your body and mind slip away
Death is the same
A blessing for those in pain
And a curse for those who are left without you
Immortality unlike the other yet the same
You are cursed to live watching those you love slowly wither
But you are able to pass on your wisdom to the new generations
Though with time you would surely wish for death
All of them are entwined no matter how different they seem
Just as is the human race
All different yet the same
Rich or poor
Wise or ignorant
We are all intertwined
Monday, July 18, 2005
Unsure
I am unsure as to whether any god exists
I’m not sure I want to
The wars spawned by religion caused more destruction
Than I care to be associated with
No definite black or white just grey
The views some try to push on me
Have put me in a perpetual state of indifference
The hate caused by your so called saviors
Has driven me away
Whether you are reborn, or you live
Forever in the golden light or fiery pits
Is your choice
Even though we really don’t know what will happen
In the hereafter of your choice
My views don’t matter to you
Yours don’t matter to me
Just remember no one really knows what is going to happen
When you find out you can’t tell me
I’ll be off in my little world of indecision
Peaceful
You think you solved the mystery of me
You see through the acts that I hide behind
I hate to disprove your theory
You see the outer walls that are the labyrinth of me.
Hidden in dark the dark recesses of my mind do I lurk just waiting to emerge
But as each day passes I grow weary of hiding
Just wanting to be myself but unable to
Held back by the shackles called expectations
I act as if I were a fallen being
But all I am is a speck of dust in the wind
Not destined for greatness
Not destined for fame or wealth
I don’t desire these materialistic things
All I want peace
Not world peace
Not peace of mind
Just peace
So leave me to search for this fabled peace
In The Dark
You think you know every detail of me
I hide my true feelings in the dark corner of my mind
Along with the bad memories of the years gone by
They sit there just waiting to be released as if they were a caged bird
Always coming just beneath the surface as if to say let me free
But my fear and paranoia keep them tightly locked away
Never to be released
Never to be heard or seen
I just sit here in wait for the caged bird to escape
When that day finally comes all will be revealed
No secrets
No lies
No more dark corners to hide in
Hidden
I sit here unnoticed for the most part
The teacher occasionally calls out for an answer
My voice heard then forgotten instantly
I like being hidden from you
All you do is mock me out of fear
Each insult slowly cuts deeper
I seem unaffected yet I am scarred beyond recognition
Deep within my psyche I have some small fragment of pride left
I hold onto it for dear life
You all try to steal it as if it were some precious jewel
I despise every one of you who acts as if you are just joking
The lies and truths indistinguishable from one another in my eyes
Your preconceived judgments clouding your vision
But making mine all the clearer
I see you for who you truly are
An insecure fool who knows no other way express fear by mockery
Endings
By fate or free or free will
They will occur in an ironic never ending cycle
As difficult to deal with as death or as easy as the end of a movie
We all move on until we too end.
Our fall will not shake the earth for in the scheme of things we are all insignificant
We all are soon to be forgotten
Except for the select few who we truly touched
Even they with time shall fade and with them we fall too
The great end of us all is approaching and with it all knowledge of us is as good as gone.
I am as prepared as I will be for the end
So all I can say is…..
Farewell to all of you.
Anger
Their shackles are weakening
I fear they will soon escape
I fear not for myself but for the fool who unleashes them
I will lose myself in their fury
I shall feel no pain till I reawaken
Amongst the devastated I realize I have become a slave to my anger
An anger which no one can master
Yet I am expected to bear its burden
My pain hidden beneath this false smile
The laughter keeps me from screaming
My peers go along mocking me
Unbeknownst to them I am subconsciously plotting
The things I think should have never occurred to one as young as me
My demise is not near but I feel as though the next day will be the end
But that mystic end will not be brought on by myself
But by the fabled reaper
Alone
Still I am alone
Nobody to call a friend
No shoulder to lean on in times of pain
No one to protect or to be protected by
Mocked by those who call themselves my friends
Days of ceaseless pain
Nights of growing loneliness
I grow stronger with each passing day
Knowing I could end the pain in a second
But I know that ending it would prove how weak I was
Pain is temporary
Death is permanent
Life alone is better than death regretful
Live not a life of regret but a life of foolish pride
Ages
I have grown as the seasons changed
I have realized change is good and necessary
Yet it is the hardest thing to do.
I grew in mind and body yet I changed not in temperament
I thought I was same as the years before changing only when it is convenient for me
But I have realized I do change as the seasons do
The spring my youth when I look back I see happiness and Naievete
The summer my era growth the year when the shroud of ignorance was raised a little
I grew to know things beyond the comprehension of my younger peers
I felt superior yet I knew I was missing something
The autumn my golden age I was the popular protector my ignorance had seemed to vanish but then again ignorance is bliss I knew not how ignorant I was
As I grew to realize the leaves had already fallen and the winter was nearly upon us
The winter my time of freedom granted by my elders but that freedom was not so free as I thought I realized this and I have become this being that stands before you just waiting for the spring to come again
I feel as though I have left behind the other seasons but I still carry them with me
No matter how much I seem to despise them they will always be there
I will feel my past no matter how repressed it may be I still feel it
Lurking just beyond my sight just waiting for me to accept it with open arms